|
|
|
|
[Monday,
[Mercy is sitting behind her desk as the
Prince (gritting his teeth): I’ve been send by my country as emissary.
But personally I’d rather have it they send me as assassin.
Mercy (sighs): Why me? Listen, I have one question for you. Next to
Scrooge McDuck’s money house there’s a large number of signs, what’s written on
them?
Prince: Go back?
Mercy: Right, go back. Go back to where you came from. Don’t show your
face here again!
Prince: Are you talking to me?
Mercy (sighs): Just leave already!
[Tuesday,
[A mouse enters Mercy’s office with a big smile on his face.]
Rob: Hello miss Mercy. I have very special
gift for you because you president.
Mercy: Curious, what is it?
Rob: Is very delicious shrimp-on-stick. With much garlic sauce, so you
stink terribly from mouth.
[Mercy accepts and takes a bite.]
Mercy: Not bad, and it’s still warm!
Rob: Yes, I sat on it in taxi and airplane to preserve warmth. But why
you look so green all of sudden?
[Wednesday,
[Mercy is leaning back in her chair and resting her feet at the desk.
Philip enters.]
Mercy: What is dear? You want more allowance money?
Philip: No, that’s not it. I…
Mercy: You want a seat in congress?
Philip: neither that, but…
Mercy: Do you want me to spend more time with you?
Philip: That’s not it. I want only three things.
Mercy: Well okay, but please don’t make high demands.
Philip: Okay. First, I want you to spend more money on budget and less
on me. Second, give some seats in congress back to people who aren’t your
friends and more experienced. Third, you should spend more time at work and not
at home with me.
[Thursday,
[Mercy is at the opening of a shopping mall, with her minister of
finances Philip Stoneturner. Her minister of defense, Philip
Stoneturner. And her minister of international
affairs, Philip Stoneturner.]
Mercy (cutting the ribbon): I hereby officially declare this mall as
opened.
[Mercy holds up a bottle of champagne. She opens it and some of it
spills.]
Mercy: I hereby officially declare this bottle as opened.
[Mercy is at the toilets with Philip, she’s struggling with the pants
of his suit.]
Mercy (triumphantly): I hereby officially declare your pants as opened.
[Friday,
[Mercy is on the telephone with someone. On the telephone itself is the text ‘Kremlin’.]
Mercy (shocked): What, really? You must be joking right? (serious) Alright, if that is what you want.
[She put the horn on the hook and pushes a button to contact the
pentagon.
Mercy: Philip, the Russians asked for it. Prepare for launch.
[Mercy reaches for another button on her desk. Beneath it are written
three names, with the first two names, Johnson and Clinton, scratched off. The
text reads: Mercy’s button. She presses it and the fountain in front of the
building is moved from it’s place. A huge gray rocket with blue wings is
launched. A big 1 is painted on the side.]
Mercy: Thunderbirds a’ go!
[Saturday, Washington]
[Mercy and Philip are standing in front of a large theme park. Mercy
looks proud.]
Mercy: Isn’t it marvelous? Your own special theme park. It bears your
namesake, it has everything you like. Rollercoasters, arcade halls, wonderful
scenery, thrill rides, anything. And I haven’t even started about the food yet!
Hamburgers, pizzas, steaks, hotdogs, you’ll love it. I’m really looking forward
to enjoy this with you!
Philip: Can we enter now? I’m anxious to see it!
Mercy: Oh yeah, I’m very sorry Philip. But there’s also such a thing as
a length requirement. I’m afraid you’ll have to wait a few years brother. Come,
let’s go to the park, see if there’s still a swing available for you.
[Sunday, North Korea]
[Mercy is surrounded by a group of Asian rodents and a pelican
commander. She’s shackled with her hands behind her back.]
Commander: Finally we have the symbol of capitalistic rulership! The
United States’ president is in our hands!
Mercy: I have to caution you that we do not heed intimidation! No force
on earth can break the zealous patriotism of the nations of the west and their
freedom loving soul. Kill me if you must, the spirit of joy and happiness will
not depart this world with my execution! Slavery and exploitation shall not
conquer my country. And united the west shall break the chains that keep your
compassion and generosity imprisoned inside your stone hearths. We will fight
for more than our own freedom!
Soldier (frightened): I-I have no idea w-what she j-j-just said b-but
I-I-I s-suppose w-we’d better let h-her g-g-go b-before we f-f-f-find o-out
what s-she m-m-m-meant!
bravenet.com